Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
