You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
