i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
