you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
