It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
