who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
