Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
