And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
