Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
