kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How's work?
Spinning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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