Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
