how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
