he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
