If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
