god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
