Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
