im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
