I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
