Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
