oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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