If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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