Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
