His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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