why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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