there's paper in my vomit.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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