Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish you could order shots online.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
