Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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