my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
