dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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