She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
