I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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