Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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