so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
