But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
