Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
