so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
