Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
