I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
