I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
