i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
