well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
