my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
