Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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