When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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