it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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