She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
