Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They took my balls.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we're so committed to being not committed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
