I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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