i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
