is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
